Me: Ian, wait for me before you go out the door. I hate it when you are on the sidewalk before I even pull the door shut.
Michael: Yes, we have to keep track of you.
Ian: But, Mommy, I will fight any strangers!
Me: Listen, baby, first choice is nobody has to fight any strangers. Second choice is Mommy fights them. So wait for me.
Ian: (Showing his moves) But Mommy, I am a good fighter! I will go pow pow pow pow pow pow
Me: Yes, very good, honey, but Mommy is bigger. And a lot meaner.
Michael: Dude. You have no idea how true that is.
Me: So if there are any bad strangers, I will fight them. Copy? I fight them, you run home and get Daddy.
Ian: COPY!