I always say “we’re the neighbors with the tacky yard,” and people for some reason seem to think I am kidding. (No, really, if you’ve walked past a house around here and the phrase “hillbilly groundskeeper” popped into your head, THAT WAS US.) For some reason, we end up coming off worse than the folks who don’t even try. There are a couple of those around, although not immediately near us. Immediately near us are all neighbors whose yards always look like you could vacuum their lawn, or like they just did. Which is my way of saying they actually remember to water their grass, and stuff.

As a “for instance.” I don’t care to admit how long I’ve been working my way around this pile of bagged mulch in the driveway. Even more attractive is the pile of random odds and ends that were dragged out of the front flower bed on a (not really all that) recent “spruce up” mission. All of which brings me to how we spent our first “early release” afternoon, since the weather was beautiful and just cool enough that it reminded me that soon I’ll be able to say, “yes, we’re the ones who don’t rake our leaves.”

It looks much bigger and much emptier in real life. The deer have eaten the calladium into oblivion, the slugs have been at the hostas, and the crowning glory is that apparently the boxwoods have a fungus. If this thing were a human being, it would be on life support. I was thinking I’d put in some mums and spruce it up for fall, but it turns out deer love those too, and I think they’ve had enough to eat without dessert.

In other words… I’m once again accepting suggestions.