Overheard
Sunday Morning Dudes
Underpants Math
Ian owns 8 pairs of underwear. I know this because I bought him a 4 pack to make sure he’d accept a new style when I couldn’t find identical, larger underpants for him. (why, you ask? Remember the Polka Dot Diaper fiasco?)
Then I went back and had to hunt for the LAST pack they had in his size to complete his collection.
There are 7 days in a week. We have 2 hampers that get washed in rotation so the maximum time to clean laundry is 3 days. Subtract a pair for the change of everything in his school bag, and by my reasoning, there should always be at least 3 pairs of undies in Ian’s drawer. (1 in the bag, 1 on his tush, 3 in the hamper, 8 pairs total. 8-1-1-3=4, then figure on one less because he sometimes changes his clothes for no reason.)
But, every morning he goes to get dressed and then we hear… “BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY CLEAN UNDERWEAR!”
I think perhaps they’ve set up a secret guerilla base camp along with all the missing socks. They plan on recruiting the wash cloths next, so they can rely on force of numbers to overpower the larger items, like sweaters and bed sheets.
Good Morning, Mr Fashion Sense
I love serendipity
Have you ever thought to yourself, “you know, what I really need right here is a little dresser?” And then, the very next day, you were driving through your neighborhood, and you saw the perfect thing, sitting at the curb? ME TOO! I’d been wishing I had a low piece with drawers for the study during my massive organizational overhaul (I know, I do this way too much) and then, on my way home from dropping Ian off at preschool, THERE IT WAS. It’s painted black, and where the paint is distressed you can tell it used to be red. It was even remarkably clean for something that was sitting out by the street.
I actually made a fool of myself trying to figure out whether I could get it into the car by myself. (NO WAY.) For one thing, I’d forgotten how much stuff I had in the trunk. For another, if I could have put the back seat down it MIGHT have fit, but we’re talking car seats here, people, so it was a no go.
Mind you, my brother would have known instantly that it was never gonna fit. I’ve seen him putting leftovers away. He has this spatial awareness thing at “knack” level. Seriously, invite him over to load your dishwasher sometime.
So, when I got tired of waving drivers around me, I threw the drawers in the back, since I knew I’d have to get the stroller out of the baby’s car seat once he was sitting in it, and this way I was spared the embarrassment of asking the baby to hold one of the drawers on his way home. Then, I went and found some help.
This is how I know Michael really loves me… he puts up with things like this. We had to wave a lot more cars around us while we were busy putting it on the roof rack (I don’t know what was up with all the traffic in the middle of a Tuesday. Where do you think they were all going? The mind boggles.) and then we fled the scene. We even took an alternate route home so none of our gawkers would follow us.
It really was quite a remarkable find… not only was it my favorite price (FREE) it tidies the room right up, because everything fits in it “just so.”
Coming to you live from a new ISP
Yesterday my site was sporting this message:
Good thing I have backups or this story could have taken quite the narrative turn…
My FORMER ISP has always had an absolutely terrible service process. I chose them six years ago because… well, honestly I have no idea why. It may have been a very low-involvement decision. This morning when I discovered the problem, things went like this around here:
Michael: Wait, what site is this? Is it (free service I use for something else)?
Me: No, no, it’s my ISP, you know, the one we pay for.
Michael: Have you called them?
Me: No. They do not have a support phone number. How this works is, you open a ticket and wait for them to email you. Then you send a response and wait for them to email you some more.
Michael: What?
Me: Yes, they suck. We need a new one.
The problem with ANY online help desk is that you send in your request in what you THINK is perfectly plain language, and then they respond with a question you think you’ve already provided the answer to, and then, five hours later, they respond to YOUR response with something so vauge you have to do four Google searches just to find out what they are talking about.
But NO MORE. Now I’m hosting with hostgator, where they have 24 hour LIVE support, so I can skip the five hour wait and go straight to Googling. And no, they totally aren’t paying me to say this.
“when I am a Mommy I will NEVER…”
“let my baby cry it out.” oh, no. I wanted to gently soothe my baby to sleep, because babies cry when they really need to be held. Well. That is one of those Statements That Is True Until.
Until I start to wonder if, on the night of the next full moon, I’m going to stumble across the hallway, grope around in Keeghan’s crib, and scoop up a wolf cub.
Until I start to get nursemaid’s elbow from holding my 20 lb baby 24 hours a day.
Until I am being summoned by hysterical shrieks every time he burps. Or toots. Or rolls over. In other words, every 45 minutes, night or day, except when it’s more often.
Until Mr Too Smart For His Own Good figures out that if he holds out until Mommy Goes Crazy, he’ll get to ring in the New Year.
Until enough nights of no sleep plus a day of No Hot Water pushes me over the edge, and i realize that patting his back until my arm goes numb Is Not Getting The Job Done.
Whereupon I will give my beautiful boy a kiss at 6 pm, tell him I love him and Night Night, put him to bed, and go set the kitchen timer. And he’ll be asleep in under 30 minutes. And stay that way for 5 hours. Hallelujah.
Upheaval? I’ll show you upheaval!
A couple days ago I posted on Facebook (but you know this because you’ve liked my page, right?) that I thought we’d reached the peak of the post- holiday reorganization upheaval. I am here today to tell you that was naive in the extreme. Two days ago, “I’ll be able to knock this out in 4 hours” was a direct quote…