Category Archives: fitness

I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello… 2013

Posted on by
1

Sometime between when I saw him on Christmas Day and when I went to feed and brush him the next morning, sweet Remus passed away. He was almost 18, and he’d been with me through nearly all of my adult life. I unfortunately was home alone with the kids when I found him and I had to lock myself in my room until I got over my crying jag so that Michael and I could tell Ian, together, that Goodbye had come for his Kitty Friend. He took it better than I did, of course, because children always do. I realize that not everyone is a cat person, but even if you despise cats, it’s hard to ignore the fact that 18 years is a long relationship with anything or anyone. And saying goodbye to something you’ve loved for 18 years… well, that’s hard. And it makes you think about things.

Romulus and Remus, together again. RIP sweet kitties.

I remember that when I was in my early twenties I felt as though I was terribly far from both my childhood and from old age. I don’t presume to speak for YOU, but from having talked with other people it seems I was not completely alone in feeling that way. It seemed as though time spread out before me in vast swathes- my life was not yet written, and anything could happen. Anything at all.

And then I had children. Having kids changed my entire relationship with time. Being there through the first few years of their lives made me realize how very fast I am going through those vast swathes of time I once thought lay before me. They also bring back my own childhood so vividly that I sometimes feel as though nothing but a few heartbeats or a breath separates me from either my childhood or from the time when I sincerely hope to find myself “stricken in years.”  Ian went from a newborn to a Kindergartener in a blink of the proverbial eye. Suddenly I feel time’s passage  like I’m sledding down a 90 degree drop with “OLD AGE” embossed at the bottom, and There Are No Brakes. The thing about time is that there is no getting off this ride. (Unless you’re the Doctor. Which reminds me that I am still ticked off that my DVR did not record the Christmas Special. But never mind.)

Anything can still happen, but what I would like to happen is for me to be strong well into my kids’ adulthood and hopefully well into the lives of THEIR kids. I feel very fortunate that my parents are healthy enough to enjoy my children. I would like my boys, someday, when they have fallen in love and gotten married and become awesome Daddies, to be able to have me pay forward even the smallest part of what Rama and Raba have been to them. I aspire to be a Strong Grandma.

Monday Progress Report:

I will have progress photos for you tomorrow. Sorry, we just didn’t get to it today.

I feel like I should specify here that I’m tracking my TOTAL progress. So when I say + or -, I mean vs. day 1, not since my last progress report. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so I don’t get discouraged on weeks where progress is smaller.

Day: 50
The scale has moved: -12 lbs
The inches have changed: -13.5 inches
I feel: Ready to move into week 8 and 2013 STRONGER and LIGHTER. Yes, we can!
I’ve walked: 59.89 miles and counting!

 

Transcendent dawn

Posted on by
4

I love going for my walk really early on non-work days. Because when I’m out there before people get up and start rushing around and doing all the things they do, I can look at the lights in the windows and feel like we are all in this together. Like We are all alone together in the dawn, and I can manage to forget that a lot of the time people are a-holes or mad at each other and cranky. For a little while everyone is still relaxed and happy. The day has a clean slate.

Day: 43
The scale has moved: -12 lbs
The inches have changed: -12 inches
I feel: Very positive! I think I can start the 10 lb slimdown Xtreme next week.
I’ve walked: 48.7 miles and counting!

BRING ON WEEK 7! Yes, we can!

What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter

Posted on by
6

It’s time for my weekly check in. Thank you all so much for putting up with me- the accountability of these Monday posts is really helping me to stay on track. I hope you’ll stick with me through all my thoughts today. I wrote most of this post last week, before the headlines that upset us all and which I will NOT BE DISCUSSING. I realize this may still be a little too much too soon for some people. Thank you for being here.

You may remember that I’m not going for thin here- I’m going for STRONG. There are a lot of reasons for that. I have kids to raise, and they are going to need protecting until they are big enough to protect themselves. While they are growing, I have to show them how to stand up for themselves and to stand tall- literally and figuratively. I have to teach them how to protect others when they need it. I cannot do those things if I’ve reduced myself to two dimensions in the hopes of looking like a picture out of a magazine.

I was looking for recommendations for fitness videos on YouTube and found a link to a YouTube channel (sorry, I’m not going to link it, you’ll just have to take my word for it) where the fitness instructor looks like a living skeleton with enormous breast implants. Ironically, she makes many references to “sexy curves.” Her featured video started to play and she was talking about how to resistance train without getting “bulky.” It made me a little sick. (I’m not trying to tear her down, I know she works hard and I believe she has great intentions. I hope there are people who’ve been inspired to make positive changes in their lives because of her. I’m not blaming her; I’m just using my reaction to her work to illustrate my point about something that’s way bigger than either of us.)

Why are we still, now, in 2012 (almost 2013) telling women that they should not be STRONG? Why are we telling each other that we wouldn’t want to “bulk up?” Unless you are taking steroids, trust me, nothing you do is going to make you look like the Terminator, so just get strong. Please. So you can stand up for yourself. So you can stand up for your kids. So you believe in you, not in some fantasy ideal that can’t exist in the real, solid world. It makes me mad that we are telling each other this, and it makes me mad that we are telling our daughters these things.

It makes me mad because every once in a while, a friend of mine confides that her husband is slapping her around. (And by “every once in a while,” I mean way too *&^%ing often. Oh, and if you are reading this and wondering if the most recent incident was YOUR wife, know that next time, it might be.) I’m not saying that this couldn’t happen if she was stronger, but I think that doing what it takes to be stronger gives women resources to draw on. Physical strength to protect themselves. Inner strength to help them through the aftermath. And, I hope and pray, a community of strong, loving people to whom they can turn for support. Because a woman in this position is going to need all the strength and support she can get.

On the one hand, when a friend confides in you that she’s not safe in her own home, you want to scream, “GET OUT. GET YOUR KIDS OUT. I’M GETTING MY KEYS. I’LL BE RIGHT THERE, and I’m bringing the FRICKING CAVALRY.” But, in your heart of hearts, you know that a woman who is in this position needs the power to make her own decisions. I also know that because of the way our courts work, she might not be able to protect her kids without a long and carefully thought out exit strategy. Prosecuting her abuser may be difficult or impossible. Taking legal actions to protect herself might push him to greater violence. Taking non-legal actions might cost her more than she can handle. There is nothing simple here.

So, if I could be talking about you, know this. You are loved. There are people who will help you. This is not your fault. Please read that again and again until you believe it. It’s not your fault. You are loved. And call me. I’ll get my keys. Or come on over. This is a safe place. I’m not judging you. Show up without shoes on your feet or diapers for the baby. It’s ok. I’ll make cake. You can have a cup of tea. Rest here a while.

And if you are the abuser-  I SEE YOU. Your wife is not invisible. Your secret is not safe with me, because your wife is not safe. I can and do feel compassion for you as a human being, but it stops the minute you put your hands on her or your kids. If you’re still sane enough to be ashamed of yourself, you can do the right thing. Call your pastor, call a doctor, call SOMEONE and tell them what you’ve done. Find a place to stay until your family is safe from you. Have the locks changed on yourself. Get help. Put your family first.

The rest of you- you’re the fricking cavalry. I’m appointing you to that position. Because until both the victims and the perpetrators of violence in the home know that we will come, every time, no questions asked, this will keep happening. Keep an eye on your friends, and if you see something that worries you, ask your friend if she is safe. Remind her that she’s loved. Tell her it’s not her fault. Don’t let her feel invisible. Tell her she shouldn’t feel ashamed and that you are listening. And come join me. Let’s get STRONGER. Let’s be that loving community of strong friends to whom she can turn, again and again.

Keep showing up even when she doesn’t leave. Keep showing up even if she goes back. Even if she defends him. Because if we don’t, we are sending the message that she’s right to give in. She is right to be afraid of her husband. She’s right not to leave her boyfriend, because he is so dangerous that even those of us who are safe in our own homes don’t have the guts to face him down. And we send HIM the message that he’s safe. That he can keep hitting or choking or kicking her and her kids every time he feels small or angry or stressed out, because we don’t care enough to do anything about it. We are sending the message that it is okay for him to do whatever he likes, even if that is something that makes our stomach turn. Even if it kills her.

And that is not okay. That’s not okay with me, and I know it’s not okay with you. So, welcome to the cavalry. I wish I could tell you it’s a happy place to be, but it’s not. It’s an angry, angry place where you have to make yourself look at things you’d rather turn away from. It’s a place that will make you hold your kids a little tighter and kiss your partner a little harder. It’ll make you uncomfortable. It’ll make you want to be STRONG.

Monday Progress Report:

I feel like I should specify here that I’m tracking my TOTAL progress. So when I say + or -, I mean vs. day 1, not since my last progress report. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so I don’t get discouraged on weeks where progress is smaller.

Day: 36
The scale has moved: -11 lbs
The inches have changed: -12 inches
I feel: STRONGER.
I’ve walked: 41.31 miles and counting!

I am aware that not only women are the victims of domestic violence. My personal experience only extends to women abused by their male significant others, and I wrote this from my experience. If that isn’t you but you cannot trust the ones who are supposed to love you, please know that I’m talking to you, too. You are loved. You deserve to be safe. Please, please, please get help.

Let’s try something called “Take care of YOU.”

Posted on by
4

20121210-140339.jpgMost of the moms I know are really, really good at taking care of people and really terrible at taking care of themselves. Case in point: I love the 10 lb slimdown, but one of the reasons I stopped last time I started this habit is that it was very hard for me to carve 40 minutes out of the day to do it. Really. I was actually having trouble devoting 40 minutes- not even of every day, just several days a week- to taking care of myself. Now that I no longer have a young infant and my eldest is in school full time (no, I STILL cannot believe it) I am finding that easier, but really, 40 minutes? That’s not even an episode of Burn Notice. I should be high enough on my own list of priorities to rate that much!

Talking with other moms, the subject of why we consistently move our own needs to the bottom of the list often comes up. I don’t pretend to know if it’s a universal problem, but I do know that almost every mom I know has run into at some point. Whether it’s worrying that we’ll start to gain instead of lose the baby weight when our kids hit that “I’m so active you barely have time to pee let alone make a salad so you’re going to eat the rest of my macaroni and cheese for lunch every day because you’re hungry enough to gnaw your own arm off and it’s already cooked” phase or not ever having five minutes in our own heads, it’s there. It’s where we live. And if you are trying to be a mom AND, you live there twice. (A mom AND work outside the home, a mom AND go to school, a mom AND still have a sense of identity outside motherhood… you get the idea.) I don’t often get to have real talks with dads, but my impression is that dads don’t do this to themselves as much. So it begs the question… why? Why do we do this to ourselves, as moms? It’s not because it doesn’t benefit our families for us to take care of ourselves. As far as I can tell, it’s a line of self-talk we have bought into that taking care of everyone else reduces our stress. So let’s do ourselves a favor and STOP IT. Take care of you today. I mean it. TAKE CARE OF YOU. Because your kids love you. Your extended families love you. If you have an SO, he or she loves you. *I* love you. So do it. Please?

20121210-140356.jpgI also want to take a moment to offer some Kudos to my workout buddy, Jenn for LITERALLY putting herself first for a while every day. Getting up at 4 am so she can get her workouts in FIRST every day and making sure she takes care of herself before she starts taking care of everyone else is awesome. I am SO PROUD OF HER! (And our mornings would be a lot less hectic if I’d take a page out of her book. Maybe tomorrow.)

So. Hello week five of the 10 lb slimdown and healthy eating overhaul around here! I cannot say enough good things about this workout program. I’m not an authority, but I know that I enjoy at least 2/3 of what Chris Freytag has included in this plan, and I DO know that this is the perfect after baby rehab. (Why she doesn’t market it that way I don’t know!) Plus, if you haven’t already, check out the guns on her! That is a woman who can go sleeveless every day and twice on Saturdays! I like it!

As far as the post-partum thing goes, I have a very mild diastasis recti and ANYONE who’s had a 9 lb baby needs to rehab their pelvic floor at least a little. Between the planks and squats and the plyometrics, this program has done wonders for what Keeghan (and probably Ian, too, but I wasn’t tracking it so I can’t say) did to my body. (He’s SO WORTH IT and also, 19 months old today. Really. That seems like an impossibly large number, but I double checked. It’s true.) I’ve reached a point where the workouts in the regular 10 lb slimdown are still challenging but completely doable- I haven’t been modifying almost at all. So I’m hoping to make a move to the 10 lb extreme. I’m going to give it a shot and see if I’m ready. I’ll let you know.

Monday Progress Report:

I feel like I should specify here that I’m tracking my TOTAL progress. So when I say + or -, I mean vs. day 1, not since my last progress report. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so I don’t get discouraged on weeks where progress is smaller.

Day: 29
The scale has moved: -9 lbs
The inches have changed: -11.25 inches
I feel: Ready to push through ’til New Year’s!!!!
I’ve walked: 30.39 miles and counting!

The two of them are approximately 70lbs, total.

We wish you a merry Weigh In Day

Posted on by
2

No, really. Look, here’s the thing. I don’t really care what I weigh. Seriously, I don’t. I wouldn’t care if I weighed 500 pounds as long as I felt good and could do everything I wanted to do.  And if anyone didn’t like it, I would happily sit on them, because I’d be ROCKING that 500 lbs. But the fact is that none of those things have been true. I have not felt well, and my knees (never my best body part) and feet (not a huge constituency until lately) haven’t appreciated it. So, yes, I’m tracking that number on the scale, but what I’m really celebrating is the fact that I’m taking a literal load off. I’m raising my energy level (so much that I’ve ditched most of my daily caffeine intake, and a lot of my daily sodium intake- I’m told sodium cravings can be related to sleep deprivation and low energy.) back to the point where I feel like my real self again. The mental fog we call “mom brain” is starting to clear. So that feels pretty doggone merry to me.  And I’m now happy to sit on anyone who doesn’t like it.

PLUS- I have worked out a recipe for a really delicious Phase II compatible Chocolate Cherry Smoothie. Oh, wait, what’s Phase II? Well, the South Beach Diet starts you off on a very restrictive, short term Phase I to bust your cravings and jump start you with healthy foods. Cravings have been a huge issue for me, so that was perfect. But, to prevent loss of muscle and other lean tissues that are all really important for your overall well being, you move after two weeks or so onto Phase II. It’s less restrictive and adds back fruit and whole grains a little at a time, so you continue to overhaul your diet in a healthy direction while still losing weight at a healthy pace. This kind of Shock and Awe approach works for me. Your mileage may vary- the traditional wisdom of making one small change at a time doesn’t work for me. I need to rip off the band aid all at once and then hit the point where half a cup of cherries tastes amazing- which is exactly what happened.

Monday Progress Report:

I feel like I should specify here that I’m tracking my TOTAL progress. So when I say + or -, I mean vs. day 1, not since my last progress report. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so I don’t get discouraged on weeks where progress is smaller.

Day: 22
The scale has moved: -8 lbs
The inches have changed: -10.25 inches
I feel: Like myself again. Finally.
I’ve walked: 25.01 miles and counting!

Dark Chocolate Cherry Smoothie

1 scoop unflavored protein powder (Make sure it’s unsweetened.)
1/2 cup pitted cherries (Fresh or frozen, no sugar added)
6 ice cubes
1/2 cup milk or chai tea
1 Tablespoon sweetener (my protein powder is sour, so I add a little bit- probably a teaspoon)
1 Tablespoon Special Dark cocoa powder (I like the richer flavor of the special dark, but you could use regular cocoa and adjust to taste.)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Throw it all in the blender and mix. MMMMM. Makes a great breakfast! If you don’t have any protein powder, use 1/2 cup plain nonfat yogurt instead.

How about you? Ready to join us? Follow along and chime in on Facebook or Pinterest. Or put a little love down there in the comment box! YES WE CAN!

What a thing to do!

Posted on by
2

I want to say THANK YOU to my wonderful workout buddy, Jenn B. (Sorry, she’s not a blogger, or I’d link up so you could hear about all the AWESOME progress she is making- getting up at 4 am to get her workouts in before work, sticking to The Plan even after being up all night with a sick kid, and more. PLUS she raised a lot of money for breast cancer research this year and did the 60 mile walk!!!! But she doesn’t toot her own horn so I guess I’m doing it for her.) We have been checking in every day, and her encouragement means a lot to me and helps keep me on track.

Jenn, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! Yes, we can!


Won’t you join us? Follow along and chime in on Facebook or Pinterest. Or put a little love down there in the comment box! YES WE CAN!

These are a few of my favorite things…

Posted on by
Reply


Part of this whole journey I’m on with my awesome fitness buddy Jenn is to replace my guilty pleasures with healthy ones. Because self-denial may be virtuous, but it’s not what’s going to get me healthy and keep me healthy in the long term. And by that, I do not mean that I am swapping my favorite foods for so-called “guilt free” versions of the same things. Because I’m really happy for you that the fat free, gluten free, sugar free, food free brownie shaped THING you just pinned to your Healthy Life board is only 99 calories per serving, but I’ll tell you what it ISN’T. It is NOT A BROWNIE. My taste buds are not stupid, and they know a brownie when they eat one. Brownies have sugar, fat, gluten and CHOCOLATE. Eating a cardboard cutout of a cookie does not make me feel like I do not want a cookie. It makes me feel like I want a dozen cookies, because I have been ROBBED. What I need are totally different foods to enjoy- healthy things that don’t just tick the “nutritious” box on my To Do List for the day, but actually make me smile when I eat them.

So, I’m trying things I used to not like (Yeah, turns out I’ve really been missing out on pistachios for the last several decades…) and seeking new things to try. Today, I have discovered Numi Organic Puerh Chocolate tea. Now, they had me at Chocolate, but it’s also called “Skinny Girl’s Tea.” I’m guessing “Strong Mama Who Can Totally Keep Up With Her Kids and Will Grind You Into a Fine Powder If You Mess With Them Tea” takes too long to say, so we’ll go with Skinny Girl. In other words, it’s meant as a healthy treat. I’m not always a tea lover, but this stuff has me hooked! (Try substituting it for the Chai in a South Beach Chai Smoothie. OH YES! I added 2 teaspoons of cocoa powder. Awesome.) Brewed with milk instead of water, unsweetened, it was a delicious pick me up.

In other news:

Me: Ian, put your jacket on, baby, it’s time to leave for school.
Ian: OH NO! MOMMY! I FORGOT TO WORK OUT!
Me: You’re going to have to do it later. It’s time to go.
Ian: No, Mommy. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
Me: Yes, honey, it is important, but not everything that is important is urgent… Oh my gosh, your lunch is not packed.
Ian: Hooray! Now I have time to work out!

When I came back with his lunch, I found him doing the yoga video I had just finished. Probably better than I did it, and quite certainly cuter.

20121128-132140.jpg

Ok, Week Three- LOOK OUT.

Posted on by
Reply

Well, week two had the biggest eating day of the year smack in the middle of it. So I cannot be pleased enough to report that I made any progress at all! Nothing gets me off track like leftover pie, but even that didn’t stand in my way! Once again, my biggest loss was around my midsection, which is great, since my waist/hip ratio has been indicating that I “may be at increased risk for diabetes, heart disease…” and a bunch of other things that really bring you down so I’m skipping them. But my point is, that measurement is headed in a healthy direction right now- AWESOME. Because I’d really like to skip all those things and just stick with “healthy.”

Sorry, no funny face today… maybe next week.

Monday Progress Report:

I feel like I should specify here that I’m tracking my TOTAL progress. So when I say + or -, I mean vs. day 1, not since my last progress report. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so I don’t get discouraged on weeks where progress is smaller.

Day: 15
The scale has moved: -7 lbs
The inches have changed: -8 inches
I feel: Pumped up. Really, really pumped up. And I can feel less strain on my knees, even when I’m carrying my GIANT BABY. (Seriously, he’s really big.) Ready to kick week three WHERE IT HURTS!
I’ve walked: 19.16 miles and counting!

See? Really big.

What about you? How did you do this week? Are you ready to join us? YES WE CAN!

PS- thanks to my friend Casey for passing on some pants that don’t fit her any more, or I’d still be in my room, looking for something to wear. I don’t keep stuff that doesn’t fit me any more… More on that later.

Start of week TWO

Posted on by
2

My fitness buddy Jenn and I are going STRONG on our program- the South Beach Diet and the 10 lb slimdown. We both feel awesome and, in addition to trimming our waistlines, have noticed some positive changes in our skin. I realize that a sample size of “two” doesn’t exactly meet the standard for “rigorous scientific study,” but it should easily exceed “encouraging anecdotal reports.” We started this with almost identical goals, and we’ve made almost identical progress, which is SO FUN even if it’s not likely to last. And there is NOTHING more encouraging than seeing lots of progress right away when you start something new, right?

If you’re not familiar with the South Beach diet, its claim to fame is that it makes you lose “belly fat” first- and since that is most people’s “trouble spot,” it’s quite a selling point. Your mileage may vary, but in my experience, it’s also true. Most of my losses came from my trouble spots this week- and my midsection is definitely slimmer.

Aaaand… we are two for two on the goofy facial expressions. But I did my hair for you today because YOU PEOPLE ARE SPECIAL.

Monday Progress Report:

Day: 8
The scale has moved: -6 lbs
The inches have changed: -5.25 inches
I feel: Really good! I still have lots of energy and don’t feel worn out at all. I’ve had one or two days where I was sort of sore, but not terrible.

What about you? How did you do this week? Are you ready to join us? YES WE CAN!

(PS- that’s 20% of my weight loss goal there! In one week! I’m so pumped!)