Category Archives: Progress Report

Day 99

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This past week we have had some unseasonably beautiful weather, and I saw the first crocuses. This is wonderful and cheering and also a little sad, as it always reminds me of my Grandma, whom I used to call on the phone to share the good news when I saw the first flowers of spring. So, Grandma, wherever you are- the crocuses are out. And they are beautiful. Today was a no-school day and somehow or other we didn’t get our progress photos taken.

But I can tell you this. I had occasion to run around the back yard with these dudes on one of those beautiful days I mentioned. And I had FUN. My favorite part was when they were tired and I was not. STRONGER!

Monday Progress Report

Day: 99
The scale has moved: -22 lbs (I am only 5 lbs away from a “healthy” BMI!)
The inches have changed: -19.75 inches
I feel: like Spring is coming after all!
I’ve walked: 125.23 miles and counting!

 

What is it with February, anyway?

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If the Julian calendar was a map of all my favorite fiction, February would be the Pit of Despair. I always feel like I’ve fallen in it and I can’t get out. Once we’ve assumed that I’m not turning to junk food to lift my mood, humor and encouragement are the only things that get me through. (The Wise and Wonderful Betty Gray used to commiserate with me in February. Whatever it is about this month, I’m just absolutely done with everything by the time it rolls around every year.)

In the humor department, the very unfortunately timed end of one of my favorite blogs, Regretsy, has me looking for similar sources of incisive wit. I haven’t found one yet. In the void, I have been watching a notorious internet flame war between two bloggers. Well, really one and a half bloggers, because only one of them has stooped to name calling and aggressive tactics. (Psst, if you know of a blog that consistently delivers the kind of irreverent humor April Winchell has been known for, please tell me so I can start reading it, before I’m reduced to watching Jersey Shore.) It’s really not very funny- more of an object lesson.

Reality TV and internet flame wars give us plenty of dramatic examples of tearing other people down. But even in real life, we all know people who habitually tear others down. It can take the form of subtle, disparaging comments in conversation or it can be blatant and malicious backstabbing. Either way, we’ve all run into it, and at times it can be hard to deflect it and not take it personally. For some reason, most of us don’t feel comfortable saying, “you know, that wasn’t a very kind thing to say.”

I, personally, don’t usually feel comfortable saying, “that is not a kind thing to say.” It feels like criticizing the other person’s behavior, which is rude. I’ve been taught that being rude to someone who has been rude to you doesn’t solve anything. (It really doesn’t.) But is it really rude or critical to call someone on an unkindness, or is it honest and practical? Is it loving to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they didn’t realize they sounded unkind? Is it more fair to give them the chance to make amends than to hold your peace?  As someone who struggles constantly with hotheaded tendencies, I fear my quest to not just let loose my temper on the populace may be causing me to sometimes hold my tongue when I should give a calm, honest response. Let’s file this under “ways I need to work on myself,” shall we?

Speaking of working on myself, this has been a bit of a tough week. The fridge crisis is over, but the aftermath has created more than one “clean it up or burn it down” moment. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t skip a workout to clean, but… well, February is also noted for being my annual celebration of  Let’s Throw It All Out and Start Over. So I’ve been a little erratic this week.

My workout buddy Jenn and I have vowed to help each other through the February Blahs. It’s the shortest month in the calendar, and we will NOT let it get the better of us. She tells me that, statistically, this is the week people most often quit fitness plans. I think the moral of that story is, “don’t be a statistic.”

Having someone to struggle through the Battle Vs. February with me is just putting the whole “Don’t tear others down” thing in context. It will never get us where we want to go, because it pulls down a support that could help lift us up. So I hold out my hand to you now, in friendship. I will pull you up over the hump of the year’s shortest month- if you will do the same for me.

And let’s schedule a Three Stooges marathon. Or something. STAT.

Monday Progress Report

Day: 85
The scale has moved: -19 lbs
The inches have changed: -18 inches
I feel: determined to kick February where it counts.
I’ve walked: 104 miles and counting!

What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
-Joan Osbourne

Day 78 (late… and not necessarily short…)

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Ian is on the job!

My day 78 update on my health overhaul is actually a good one. But, by rights, this week should have been a disaster, which is why it’s now been a week and a half since my last update. Last weekend (ongoing through my “Day 71” post) we were troubleshooting our dying refrigerator. We figured out that it was really most severely broken and, also, that we had killed it. After a week without a refrigerator, we shopped for and purchased a new-to-us model for not very much, which has all been time consuming and exciting and has saved us a lot of cash. Plus, we met a really nice gentleman named Curtis who hauls things as a side business and also apparently has all the charms of the Pied Piper of Hamlin. He did a great job, went above and beyond, and also contributed to the general crazy unicorn roadshow atmosphere of the weekend by bringing his dog along. Let me know if you need any hauling done and I will supply his number.

Unfortunately, after his kind and valuable assistance came to an end, we discovered that the refrigerator was exactly 1/2 inch larger than the doorway to the kitchen, which easily quadrupled the excitement of installing the new fridge. As a DIY project, buying a used fridge is somewhere in the middle of the pain in the neck scale. The general level of chaos and inconvenience is well worth the substantial cash savings versus buying a new fridge in the long run. In the meantime, it’s also a rather un-beautiful snapshot of complete and utter system breakdown. If possible, I recommend not having a broken fridge. Ever.

I’m sure there are strategies that allow a person who doesn’t have access to electric refrigeration to prepare fresh, healthy food every day without either going broke, shopping all the time, or wasting a lot of food, but seven days is not enough time to learn them. It is enough time for my patience to give out completely, and also I can tell you we ate out more than normal. And that it did not thrill me.

I am providing some highlights, here. Please feel free to feel superior as you browse through the ever-so-classy way we handled this whole thing. Did I mention that it happens to be Raccoon Crazy Season? Yes, it is. As a result, after months of giving lip service to the idea that we need to address our raccoon problem, it has become a priority. Ian performed a raccoon repelling dance, leaping about and screaming “WHAT THE HECK! GET OUT RACCOONS! GET OUT!” He was ably assisted by the Littlest Loud Thing, who hopped along after him shouting “Out! Out! Out!” No one actually promised us this would be effective, but it seemed appropriate, so we rolled with it.

Apparently, it’s all over when you disturb a man’s sleep, and we have dedicated ourselves to pursuing EVERY raccoon repellent, deterrent, and/or removal advice known to humanity as represented on the internet. Up to and possibly including dude urine. Today at the Crazy Unicorn Road Show, we have high-fume tennis balls and home made pepper spray. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you my house smells funny, and there is a mariachi band in the attic.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Monday Progress Report

Day: 78
The scale has moved: -17 lbs
The inches have changed: -18 inches
I feel:rather like running away from home, but motivated.
I’ve walked: 98.87 miles and counting!

 

Getting rid of the old fridge turned out to be the easiest part.

Pinterest, you don’t own me!

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I know that it’s become sort of fashionable to bemoan the way social media is ruining our society, but honestly, I love social media. (Okay, I don’t “get” twitter, can’t be bothered with Linked In, but… I’m a Facebook addict, and I’m feeling the Pinterest love, too.) The biggest problem I do see with it is the fact that it fuels the whole idea that the grass really is greener. It’s easy to convince yourself that you are the only one who struggles. It’s easy to look at everyone else’s photo albums and think how bad your life looks in comparison and to forget that what you are seeing is CURATED.

Seriously, it’s not that these things aren’t real. They are real, and that’s part of the insidiousness of it all. You know everything I post here is real. (And I am using myself as an example because I am not trying to criticize anyone else, and not out of any illusion that you should, for some reason, be jealous of how I have it all together. Particularly since I tell on myself often enough that I’m not about to pretend that I believe that.)

I’m a real person, this is my real family, these are real, crappy cell phone photos of food I actually prepared and we really ate or of us really doing the goofy things that we really do. And I’m showing you REAL photos of my REAL progress. But do I choose to show you a photo of me realizing that my tee shirt is too short in the middle of kickboxing, or of me coming in from the rain with wet pant legs, feeling sorry for myself? NO, of course not. And it’s not because I’m trying to pretend that my life is perfect and those moments don’t exist. It’s because, like you, I don’t enjoy those moments and I’d prefer they go away as quickly as possible. There is nothing wrong with this. It’s just that we all need to agree to regard the internet as a visit to the Museum of Us, filled with selected items we want to preserve. It’s not a bus trip through real life. That’s also why it’s so important to leave sometimes. Because museums are fun, but they are no place to live.

In some ways this is nothing new. Picture June Cleaver running the vacuum cleaner in heels and pearls. And… there we are. There is a reason the Stepford Wives were robots. (Spoiler, sorry.) Because being a real person is messy. There are things you are good at and things you are not so good at. You require inspiration. Balance between passion and necessity is not easy.

So let’s all love Pinterest in a little corner of our world, and keep it where it belongs. Don’t let it creep out of that corner and make you think your storage closet needs perfectly aligned bins with decorative labels made of scrapbook paper. (No, I’m not making that up. I contemplated that detour into frou-frou overload for about 11 seconds and then I pulled myself back from the brink.) If that’s your THING, then… well, go you, but it’s not for me. Labelled cardboard boxes from the recycling bin will work just fine. In some ways, the more we try to pretty things up, the more bland and boring they become. We are robbing our children of the charm of going through old boxes dated in Grandma’s not-so-perfect handwriting and discovering treasures. Much like the men of Stepford robbed themselves of the joy of having their wives surprise them by being so much more amazing than a cleaning service with pretty hair.

Join me on this bus trip. We’ll stop at coffee shops (that aren’t part of a chain); we’ll write post cards. We will lose things and be elated to find them again. We will triumph over bad habits and we will have crazy jokes about that one time when something ridiculous happened. We will meet people and tell stories. We will grow old and wear red and purple together. We will have quirks and get on each others’ nerves, and WE WILL LIVE. We will love. We will sing, even if we don’t do it very well. We’ll try new things. We will remember that as much as others annoy us is how much we sometimes annoy others. We will teach our kids to know the words to things, and we will somehow rub along together very well. And we will all be stronger. Yes, we can!

Monday Progress Report

I have now completed three weeks of the 10 lb slimdown xtreme. In some ways, I am not surprised because this is part of how things are supposed to progress, but in other ways I am amazed at how quickly I worked my way up to having this feel normal. Yes, we can! If you’re not ready for “Xtreme,” find a 10 minute total body routine you like and start working it into your day. If that’s too much, find a 10 minute Yoga routine. Or go for a walk. I’m not trying to boss you around, but I know you can do it. I believe in you!

Day: 71
The scale has moved: -16 lbs
The inches have changed: -17.25 inches
I feel: like wearing purple.
I’ve walked: 93.87 miles and counting!

We were trying for a two kid stunt, but it turns out that Keeghan is not good at either taking direction or holding on, so this is the best we could do.

There is nothing wrong with you exactly the way you are.

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It may not be pretty but we’re getting it done.

I recently watched this incredibly compelling presentation. And I wanted to talk about the fact that you have the right to look however you want to look. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”. Pretty isn’t going to get this done, anyway. It’s not going to protect your kids from strangers, it’s not going to make you a fun grandma, and it sure as heck is not the measure of your character.

I don’t have a daughter but I don’t think that matters. My relationship with myself is going to set the bar for how my boys view women. I want them to see us as strong, capable, intelligent human beings. I want them to grow up and respect everyone, regardless of how “pretty” or not they are. I want them to understand that attractiveness and value are not the same, regardless of your gender. I am really not sure exactly how to do that, but I am going to start by working hard at being STRONG. I’m going to break up with my fat pants. I’m going to think in terms of healthful and unhealthful, not slim and heavy.

I pledge not to measure myself by how any celebrity looks in her swimsuit, and also not to value HER by how she looks in her swimsuit. I will not compare my journey to anyone else’s. I will offer a helping hand whenever I can. We are all in this together. Let us leave no one behind.

Please join me. Today, let’s eat our vegetables in the interest of being the oldest lady anyone knows, not of looking “good” in a swimsuit. Let’s lift some weights and do some plyometric exercises so we can jump on the trampoline with our teenagers someday. Let’s celebrate ourselves, our lives, and our families in all their glorious, beautiful, imperfection. You are not a marble sculpture. Your beauty comes from the love that shines out of you. LET IT SHINE.

Day: 64
The scale has moved: -15 lbs (50% of my goal!)
The inches have changed: -16.75 inches (and my waist hip ratio is now a “healthy” 0.8!)
I feel: AMAZING. Loved. Just fine the way I am.
I’ve walked: 80.77 miles and counting!

No 7 Week Itch here!

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I have finished seven weeks of my workout and healthy eating overhaul. (If you look up at the top right of my homepage, you’ll see that this now has it’s own page, titled “Project STRONGER!”) This week, I started the 10 lb Slimdown Xtreme and also had a nasty stomach virus, just to keep things interesting. (We wouldn’t want me to get bored and quit, now would we?) Which was fun because it was an opportunity for my motivation and my perfectionism to have a cage match showdown in my head.

The fact that I had to take a day off my plan on account of illness was not a decision, it was simply a given. I could barely function, let alone work out, even Yoga.  The issue came the NEXT day, when I was on day 6 of my week and day 5 of my plan. Which didn’t matter much because I wasn’t up to the full workout in any case, so I did a short day of yoga and planned to continue the workouts in sequence, skip the rest day (since I’d already had one) and keep going. Which totally doesn’t work. (I’d have been doing the same workout two days in a row.)

So now I’m on Day 7, week 1, of the plan, and I’m on day 8 of my week. (Also known as week 8, day 1 of this project.) See my problem? Not only isn’t it enough time to show I care, It makes me feel like I left the windshield wipers up in the middle of the windshield when I turned off the car. NEVER do that. It’s very disconcerting.

I’m trying not to let myself ruin this for myself, though, so I’m just going to roll with it. What do you do if you have a “sick day” in your workout plan? Do you skip over that day’s planned workout, pick up on the next workout in the plan, or rearrange the workouts on your list so you get them all in by the original end date, whatever that may be? I’ll have to see if I can deal with having it take me 29 (or more) days to complete a 28 day workout plan.

Monday Progress Report:

I feel like I should specify here that I’m tracking my TOTAL progress. So when I say + or -, I mean vs. day 1, not since my last progress report. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so I don’t get discouraged on weeks where progress is smaller.

Day: 57
The scale has moved: -14 lbs
The inches have changed: -15 inches
I feel: Grateful not  to have been sicker.
I’ve walked: 66.7 miles and counting!

Progress Photos

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Ian has a new game, where I stick my arms out and he climbs up me and then slides down. He loves it and I have to admit it’s cute and fun but I feel like I should caution him never to try this on anyone who isn’t expecting it… particularly since I once tried to jump on my babysitter, Jane, when she came to pick me up to go see the Nutcracker, and I thought for years that I had broken her back. I was probably his age at the time.

“Mommy, that’s me, climbed ALL the way up.”

I realize we have been a bit slap-dash about these this week. Next week I’m sure we’ll do better. Or else, we will do worse and you’ll look back on these and they’ll look good in comparison. Either way, really. Oh, and if you have a short attention span or you missed them yesterday, here are this week’s stats. Also, that’s about as close as I’ll be getting to New Year’s Resolutions, so have fun with that.

I want to take a moment to shout about my workout buddy Jenn, who is doing SO AMAZINGLY WELL! She is about to outstrip me on every metric which is only remarkable because she has been sick for basically the entire holiday season. Instead of using that as an excuse to curl up with as much cake as she could eat, she has been super careful about what she eats and she looks AMAZING in her New Year’s Eve photos!

I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello… 2013

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Sometime between when I saw him on Christmas Day and when I went to feed and brush him the next morning, sweet Remus passed away. He was almost 18, and he’d been with me through nearly all of my adult life. I unfortunately was home alone with the kids when I found him and I had to lock myself in my room until I got over my crying jag so that Michael and I could tell Ian, together, that Goodbye had come for his Kitty Friend. He took it better than I did, of course, because children always do. I realize that not everyone is a cat person, but even if you despise cats, it’s hard to ignore the fact that 18 years is a long relationship with anything or anyone. And saying goodbye to something you’ve loved for 18 years… well, that’s hard. And it makes you think about things.

Romulus and Remus, together again. RIP sweet kitties.

I remember that when I was in my early twenties I felt as though I was terribly far from both my childhood and from old age. I don’t presume to speak for YOU, but from having talked with other people it seems I was not completely alone in feeling that way. It seemed as though time spread out before me in vast swathes- my life was not yet written, and anything could happen. Anything at all.

And then I had children. Having kids changed my entire relationship with time. Being there through the first few years of their lives made me realize how very fast I am going through those vast swathes of time I once thought lay before me. They also bring back my own childhood so vividly that I sometimes feel as though nothing but a few heartbeats or a breath separates me from either my childhood or from the time when I sincerely hope to find myself “stricken in years.”  Ian went from a newborn to a Kindergartener in a blink of the proverbial eye. Suddenly I feel time’s passage  like I’m sledding down a 90 degree drop with “OLD AGE” embossed at the bottom, and There Are No Brakes. The thing about time is that there is no getting off this ride. (Unless you’re the Doctor. Which reminds me that I am still ticked off that my DVR did not record the Christmas Special. But never mind.)

Anything can still happen, but what I would like to happen is for me to be strong well into my kids’ adulthood and hopefully well into the lives of THEIR kids. I feel very fortunate that my parents are healthy enough to enjoy my children. I would like my boys, someday, when they have fallen in love and gotten married and become awesome Daddies, to be able to have me pay forward even the smallest part of what Rama and Raba have been to them. I aspire to be a Strong Grandma.

Monday Progress Report:

I will have progress photos for you tomorrow. Sorry, we just didn’t get to it today.

I feel like I should specify here that I’m tracking my TOTAL progress. So when I say + or -, I mean vs. day 1, not since my last progress report. It helps me to keep the big picture in mind, so I don’t get discouraged on weeks where progress is smaller.

Day: 50
The scale has moved: -12 lbs
The inches have changed: -13.5 inches
I feel: Ready to move into week 8 and 2013 STRONGER and LIGHTER. Yes, we can!
I’ve walked: 59.89 miles and counting!