My husband informs me that, after discussing one of our favorite tracks from “O Brother, Where Art Thou,” he figured out that Ian has been singing “as I went down in the river to prey…”
Hey, at least the science is sound.
Ian: Mommy, if our house is attacked, we should make sure to exit the building immediately.
Me: Ok. I’ll keep that in mind.
Ian: Yes. We need to get out of here, so we aren’t killed. Then we have to defend the house. Mommy, I will take the front door. You take this door, and Daddy will protect the gate.
Me: What about Keeghan? What should he do?
Ian: Nothing. We’ll protect the house.
Me: What about his crib? Shouldn’t he protect his crib?
Ian: Yes. Keeghan, if we are attacked, you defend your crib. That’s very important.
PS: STOP telling him about September 11.
We don’t know who put the Glass Break HooDoo Whammy on us, but whoever you are… we are sure that whatever it is we did, it was a complete oversight. We sincerely apologize, and I assure you we never, in our lives, would have wanted to hurt or upset you.
FYI, in addition to the two windows, we are also down one small Pyrex casserole and a butter dish. We’re concerned about the pickle jar, and I decided this was NOT the week to take the glass down off the hallway light and wash it.
Nothing like the sound of breaking glass to add a little dynamic tension to “tidy up time.”
I was joking that Keeghan was running for office today. He had to go up to every baby at the park and talk to them like he was meeting his constituents. Also he shakes hands if an adult introduces themselves while I’m holding him. (yes, it is THAT CUTE.)
Ian seems to have accepted the job of campaign manager. He usually has a list of talking points and introduces Keeghan to the other kids. (“Here he is! That’s him!”) Don’t try to skip the talking points. There’s no escape.
So. Can we count on your vote?
All you need is a hot glue gun and some craft supplies and you too can create enough portable catapults to take down even heavily defended objectives.
Wiffle golf balls and mini marshmallows make excellent, non-lethal ammunition. Goldfish crackers are also effective, but consider safety goggles.
Michael: how many pictures do you have of them sleeping, anyway?
Me: well, they hold still when they’re asleep.
Ian: Is Keeghan awake?
Me: Yes. I should go get him and feed him breakfast.
Ian: I can’t hear him. At night, when I hear Keeghan crying, I usually go in there before you or Daddy.
Me: Oh, really? How come I have never seen you there?
Ian: Because, Mommy, you are always ASLEEP.
