Ian: (accompanied by the semi-hysterical, semi-maniacal giggle that means we missed bedtime) Look at my butt! Everyone look at my butt! It’s my butt! Look! I’m showing my butt!
Keeghan: BUTT! BUUUUUTT! BUTT!
Michael: Oh, man, the floodgates are just opened, aren’t they?
Me: … (facepalm)
We are having a lot of fun with this gizmo, and only partly at its expense. What you are looking at is called a “spa mist humidifier with optional essential oil diffuser.” (“Why is it called that, Mommy?” “Because someone is really bad at names, that’s why.”)
Not only does it humidify and optionally diffuse scent, it lights up. And changes colors. Naturally, some of the colors are brighter than others. So if, for instance, you are the parent if a baby who still does not sleep through the night and you therefore wake up a lot at night, you will enjoy a different experience each time you open your eyes.
Assuming you open them, that is. As opposed to, say, sleepwalking to the baby’s room and then having the bejesus scared out of you when your husband comes in to check on you. Which may or may not be a regular event around here.
It also sounds like a badly tuned motorcycle when the water runs low. Which, if you turn it on before you go to bed, it will do at a really ridiculous hour of the morning. This is only for a bit before the auto- shutoff kicks in, so if you’re susceptible to strange, noise induced dreams, you’ll really like that feature. The puddle that sometimes collects underneath it is fun, too, and also a very reassuring behavior in an electrical appliance.
All in all, I’d say we’ve really gotten a big bang for our buck! Especially considering that this came to us via White Elephant exchange, so it represents an excellent value for the price paid!
Are there snow shovels in my immediate future? Will Ian teach his brother how to use one?
And, don’t worry, I’ve locked up the prescription drugs. And the OTC meds. AAAAND the vitamins.
Keeghan had part 2 of his flu shot on Monday. I know this because 1. I was there and 2. He’s in his crib for the first time since. He reacts to shots the same way he does to anything that makes him feel not-so-good. He wants to sleep constantly, but only on me. Well, or Raba. Who, in case you are wondering, isn’t here.
Yesterday evening I set off a horrific chain of events when I foolishly (SO SO FOOLISHLY) tried to put Keeghan in his crib after he’d been sleeping on me for two hours so I could read to Ian, who had sweetly (SO SO SWEETLY) asked me to please read to him in his room and who really, really did deserve a little Mommy time. Keeghan woke up.
He STAYED awake, yawning and rubbing his eyes and failing to succumb to every known non-brain-damaging baby soothing technique, for five hours. Which really is probably a new record. Is there an English word for being so tired you’re staggering around bumping into walls on hands and knees? Because that’s what was going on by the time he finally fell asleep.
“whew, thought mama, now *I* can go to bed.”
The next thing I knew, I woke up with a start and grabbed for the baby. (I’ve been doing that a lot in the chair in his room. Every time he squirms.) right there, sound asleep. In bed with me. The fearful racket was Ian, falling out on the other side. I heard Michael softly and gently urge him back to his own room. And then I don’t remember anything until it all happened again.
Today is going to be a shining example of why Nursing Mothers Really Do Consume Caffeine. And we’re having a little meeting on the subject of Bedtime Is At Seven PM. There will be a memo.
Me: Ian, it’s time to leave. Why haven’t you put on your shoes?
Ian: well. I can’t find them.
Me: This is why you are supposed to put them on the mat. If you put them on the mat you’ll always be able to find them. You’d better look for them; you’re going to be late.
Ian: Ok. I still can’t find them.
Me: SEE? Next time, PUT THEM ON THE MAT.
Ian: ok, next time I will. Why are Daddy’s shoes in here?
Me: …
I have recently become aware that there are people who have decided that Elf on the Shelf is an Extreme Sport.
All I have to say to that is… Stay Away From My Children. Ian was impressed when the Elf clung to the chandelier. And that’s as crazy as we’re planning to get around here.
This is what Ian decided to wear to school today:
Also, there is a hole in the seat of his pants, because he refused to change them once this fact was discovered.
If you happen to be wondering how my “Hold The Line” project is going, last week’s results were good, although not as dramatic as the previous week. I lost 1/4 inch off both waist and hips. It was a really rainy week though, so despite my best intentions I logged 0 miles for the week.
Perhaps you have forgotten the gut-churning feeling of being utterly humiliated. If you’d like a reminder, feel free to take my child to church with you and attempt to have him participate in a holiday pageant.
The good news is that he thought the rehearsal was WICKED FUN. The bad news is that we are now family non-grata in the pageant community. Actually, if I’m perfectly fair, Keeghan was very good. They’d probably have him back.
It was all downhill from the moment Ian asked the prop coordinator for a knife.
First of all, Ian really wanted to sing along with the holiday songs. But he doesn’t know them and can’t yet read the song sheet. So he kept randomly interjecting the ABC song. When asked not to do that (by me) he started climbing furniture.
Also, you’ll be surprised to learn that roaring and stomping like a T-Rex does not add anything to the human menorah/dreidel portion of the festivities.
I, personally won’t be trying this again any time soon, but if your church happens to be producing Godzilla of Nazareth, I am willing to give you a good deal on Ian’s participation.
Don’t let the picture fool you… He was Mr. Hyde all day.
From the family archive. (Thanks, Uncle Barry.) You are looking at the Wise and Wonderful Betty Gray, back when she was the Wonderful Betty Lynch. Along with her sisters, Jean and Eileen.
If I’d known how very much I’d someday want my children to feel like they knew her, I’d have spent several weeks with her writing her childhood as a children’s book. I’d still like to do that, but it would have been more fun to collaborate with her.
and it started here:
"Doing the Beep"
Congratulations on 40 years of totally awesome happiness to my Mom & Dad. May we all be half as lucky!